pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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