i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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