one might say we're banned from that church
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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