I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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