Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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