I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
