A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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