So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
