i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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