It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
