hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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