I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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