i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
