How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
