My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
