If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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