I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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