no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
