Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
