i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
