I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
