I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
