that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
