You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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