IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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