what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
