shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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