saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
