Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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