Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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