My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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