I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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