absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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