I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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