Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A+ Viking dick
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
