I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
