i would punch a child for taco bell
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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