I'm lost and stupid without you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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