a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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