All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
