ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize