i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
