Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
