the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
