peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
