Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
