why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
