I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I stole a fireplace last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
