i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
