It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
