We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
