just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize