no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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