I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
