Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize