she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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