Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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